I have 3- kids my own 6 year old, and two stepkids that live w/ us parttime. my son goes to camp he's going into first grade so this is his first official summer at camp and of course he loves it. he's doing drama, then fun/swim/camp then baseball camp. we also have a few weeks off to spend w/ the kids in the summer. My step kids are 11, and 13, they do NOT want to go to camp and last summer began just staying at home. we are in LA so to have local kids nearby to hang at neighbors house go back and forth is just not doable in my neighborhood unfortunately. they all go to private school meaning alot of the kids live close or far. my stepkids are w/us half the time in the summer. about 5 1/2 weeks. out of those 5 1/2 weeks we take about 1-2 weeks off to do family stuff or just hang at home.
i know we don't need to entertain them, but already one week my SS came home after one week at scout camp (which he does love that it's all week overnight) one day he's back and bored.. i'm like theres plenty to do, go for a walk, go ask neighbors if you can do some work for them etc. etc.. next year he does want to work at the scout camp excellent idea!!
my SD has cheer but it was twice a week and now ended until end of July.. she will have not much to she literally will be bored. i don't feel the need to entertain them but i also can't imagine at their age being in the house ALL DAY!
please tell me for working parents what do you do w/ your tweens/teens all day/ ive even asked them what their friends are doing and they have "no idea" that's their reply??
net weekend we are planning a swim bbq w/ a few friends.. but honestly i dont' get it. i dont' remember growing up this way. their mom is a teacher and she rarely plans things for them and she's home all summer..
thanks for all the excellent ideas. I actually discussed with a friend and also just saw mamapedia had an article about summer and the "b" word. it was a great article and made me think. Our kids definitely have the life, many vacations between both households etc etc. i sat back and thought what is it i'm afraid of or wanting to do. why do they have to be "busy " all the time. yes i want them to stay out of trouble to find things they enjoy doing etc.. i guess i want them to just hang with kids their age. I do not expect to entertain them and won't. iin the evenings we are going to schedule some biking time, this weekend we've planned a bbq /pool time w/ a couple of friends, we will have a week off as a family to do something. what they do with their mom is her time etc.. i do think they need to be more in charge of their life and make plans /do things for themselves. SS who iwill be 14 in a week has a health onliine course to take for school. i think having household chores/ list to do daily will help them be more responsible. and DH might have SS do some painting.. other than that i guess it is ok for them to have a lazy couple of weeks why not? they are busy all the other times and once school strts it will be school/homework, sports etc.. busy busy.. so i'm now ok with not doing what other parents can do. it seems it's a balance. some people wnat to drive their kids here or there or can afford ot send them all over , we both work, we are comfortable but some of the camps out here are outrageous. and my SS just had a fun week at scouts mY SD will be going to a weekned long cheer camp with friends and then time off w/ their mom and us for a week or two i think is plenty. actually their summer is flying by. i do think a day her or there to get out though is not a bad idea.
I was a single mom. Camp was prohibitively expensive, and she didn't much care for camping anyway.
At that age, my daughter was staying at home while I was at work, and amusing herself. She slept late, played video games, watched tv or videos, played in the back yard with the dog, until I got home. We went out and did things together after I got off work.
Sometimes she slept over at a friend's; sometimes she had a friend sleep over.
My mom never had a plan for us when we were growing up.
She winged it every single day.
We never went to camp. (well only once.).
We rarely got to have friends over.
But now with kids I have some ideas:
-have them invite their friends over! Definitely!
-Look in your local paper for things/events to do.
-Take them to your local pool.
-Take them to a local fair.
-Encourage them to have a bake sale, lemonade stand, garage sale.
-See if there are any classes in your neighborhood for things like science.
You can find the pamphlets at the library. They will have a fee but some
are nominal.
-Take them roller skating to a rink.
-Take them bowling.
As I said, you can often find deals for thgs or find them for free!
Edit: Go for picnics.
The entire family can go for evening walks.
Take them to the library for an hour.
I have an 11 and 14 yo. We usually pay for my 11 yo son to go to Boys and Girls Club but couldn't financially do it this year. I'm home with them so I have them work on chores, read, some computer time, board games and a lot of our friends have pools so we go to one each day. They also have public pools and we go there. So far, it's worked well. I can't believe in the middle of LA you have a hard time finding things for them. If money isn't an issue, check into the Boys and Girls Club. Out here it's a little over $100 per week, per kid and they keep them VERY busy. Good luck.
At those ages, my kids played summer baseball or softball so they had practice or games 4 days/week. They also signed up for some 1/2 day classes through the summer rec/community ed. They could ride their bikes to practices and the school. They would have friends over - just had to check in and only certain ones were allowed over if no parent was home. We also had an above-ground pool at that time and they nearly lived in it. They also went down to the river and went fishing or cray fishing.
They would have some general chores and I'd write it on the fridge what they had to do before anything else. At that age, they could be mowing the lawn and babysitting.
My daughter is 10 and this is the first summer she isn't going to camp. I work full time, but my hubby's schedule allows her to stay home this summer. They do things once or twice a week like go to the museum or zoo, she stays with my step mom another day, we go to the pool at least 1 weekend day and the other days she lounges around. This is the first time in her life that she can lay around during the day and do nothing, so this summer I'm allowing a bit of laziness. I don't think kids should be scheduled to death (unless they get bored easily).
My daughter who is 11, volunteers. SHE researched it and got in with a State library to volunteer. She did the whole process herself. Went and talked to them and inquired, got her application, filled it out, informed them of when she is available, which is mostly everyday.
My son is 7. He is enrolled in a city and county summer program which he loves, and it is not expensive.
Once my kids end their program/volunteer stint, then they will be home with me until school begins again. And if they get bored, well that's life. Meaning, no, I cannot "entertain" them all the time all darn day. THEY are old enough to do things and make projects themselves. And do helpful things around the house. And I certainly cannot take them out to venues everyday, that is expensive. And they also have get togethers with friends. When or if my kids say "I'm bored" I say "Good, then think of something to do and use your brain and creativity." I don't coddle them when they are bored. And I am not a 24/7 Mary Poppins.
As far as my kids' friends and what they do for the summer:
Some are going to summer school. Some do nothing. Some go to private school summer programs which is very expensive, some are enrolled in summer sports camps, some go to Kumon, some go to art schools, and others are on trips.
Your Step Kids could volunteer somewhere and make their time USEFUL. Instead of just stagnating and doing nothing being bored all summer.
What does their DAD say, about their summer activities?
He doesn't mind they just do nothing? All summer?
I sent mine to summer camp or over to a relatives. They need the supervision. LOL They would go to my uncles and help him with the yard. After spending an entire week with him. They really craved camp.
Every summer I would take the time to teach my kids a new life skill, like washing clothes, ironing, cooking, grocery shopping, etc.
We would also do craft projects, math workbooks, and of course reading and writing a report or acting out their report.
Boredom isn't the end of the world but keeping them busy enough to not get into the wrong stuff or each other. LOL enjoy the summer and their youth it goes by so fast.
At that age I signed my son up for a lot of programs, most of which were of his choosing. It doesn't have to be "camp." There are a ton of interesting programs out there. For example, my son took a Jr. Lifeguarding class, he's doing a week-long theatre camp, he's taking voice lessons, (taken band in the past), is working as a counselor-in-training at an invention camp, is volunteering at church and is taking a week-long welding class. It does require some driving, which can be prohibitive for many families. If the kids are interested in sports there are also a variety of sports programs. Our high school runs a strength and fitness class in the mornings for both middle school and high school aged kids. There are foreign language classes, classes through science museums and zoos. The opportunities are endless if you can afford it and can provide transportation. I would tell them to choose something, although many programs might be filled by now. Oh, I also did allow plenty of downtime for hanging out with friends, going to the pool, riding bikes, etc.
I hope you've got parental controls on the computers (including their own personal devices) and Netflix etc.....Boredom at home plus computers and unrestricted TV access equals a lot of opportunity for problems....
It sounds like they both need more to do. It's too bad that scout camps are probably already full because the boy could do more of them -- they are not limited to one per summer, are they? Same with cheer camps. Since they both liked those activities, have you checked into similar ones? They might be full, but there are cancellations at times.
I would have a roster of chores to be done, with some appropriate and substantial rewards for chores that are outside the usual "has to be done for everyday life" needs. If you want the garage cleaned out, the pantry reorganized, some furniture repainted, whatever, let them sit down with you and plan it, let them make their equipment or supply lists if needed, let them create a schedule for doing it. And PAY them for it. Like I said -- taking out the trash, cleaning the bathrooms, doing laundry etc. -- stuff that must be done by people to keep a household running -- those dont' get cash, but there is nothing wrong with paying older kids to do larger projects. Cash is a big incentive at their ages. And if you take these tasks seriously by asking them to write out their schedule and supply needs, and write down what you will pay and what constitutes a completed job, then they will learn responsibility and organization while you get a project done and they make some money. Just don't TELL them they are learning anything! My child is 13 and will make money this summer doing some big clear-outs and reorganizations of the pantry, kitchen cabinets and linen closet, all for pay.
At their ages I would not be very comfortable with kids just lounging around all day (despite a tendency on MP to believe kids are fine just "being kids") and hanging out). Do they have summer assignments for school? By middle school here, there are summer math packets to complete and hand in on the first day of school, and summer reading lists as well. They should do those -- if you are not aware whether their private school has such assignments, check with the school directly. The kids may not know there are assignments online they're supposed to check out and complete!
They can be unpaid summer pages at the local libraries (these "jobs" aren't paid but provide service hours that many schools require, even from younger teens). The 13-year-old may be old enough to volunteer at the local recreation center in some of its summer programs, and both kids are old enough to be dropped off for recreation center summer programs that are far cheaper than many camps. Have you checked out what the rec centers and community centers offer? They sometimes have tween and teen activities aimed at kids who are not in camps -- one-time events or movies during the day or short-term courses in lots of things, and usually not very expensive.
We've got archery camp this week and our son (he's 15) is good enough they want him to join the archery league.
Between this, taekwondo (getting ready for black belt test in Sept), visiting my Mom, and chores around the house/yard - our summer is FULL!
My kids are 11, 9, and 7. Last week and this week the 7 year old is going to work with myself or my husband, and the older two are at home. They are sleeping in, reading, dancing, computer time, games, chores, whatever. We leave for vacation (and dance finals) on Friday, so when we go back to work on July 7th, we have a sitter coming to the house. The older two don't need a babysitter, but we don't want them sitting inside all day...so the money is well spent.
Next summer they will all be old enough to stay home, but we'll at least have a part-time sitter...to get them out of the house to the pool, hiking, movies, parks, museums, etc.
IMO they should be in camp. I don't know what else there is to do if you are working. (I would have suggested joining a pool).
My girl's friends are all in camp so there would be no one to get together with if they didn't go to camp too at that age.
