What to Do for the Birthday Party??

You could always just limit it to her friends from preschool and only closest family. It's a little much for extended family to be included every year. The cost alone for hosting 35+ people is staggering. I would just let the extended family know that now that she's older, it just made sense for her to have her closest friends there now.

H., you need to get a grip on the matter soon, since you already have 2 children and will possible have more. Hosting 35 people is a big event. It might be what you and your extended family do but if it's expensive and stressful you have no choice but to stop.

I would break the trend by not having a big party and perhaps taking the kids out to somewhere special - make it that kid's special day. Or,like you said you could have a party for the grandparents, aunt and first cousins. People will get offended but they will get the message. Blame it on the recession and when the economy picks up just say "well the kids don't seem to want big parties". In any case as your daughter gets older she will want to have a say in who gets invited.

Having a party at a park is a really good suggestion. If you have it at a time when a meal isn't expected, you could probably get away with just bringing cupcakes, a few snacks, and some drinks and let the kids run around.

The other thing you could do is just say that you're planning to celebrate her birthday by going to a local restaurant. Not sure about your husband's family, but in mine, we always go Dutch when there are so many of us.

I understand your concerns, but as you mentioned, if you have other children and keep up this tradition, depending on how many children you have, this could be more than once a year. Sit down and talk with your husband and voice your concerns. I think a small family party is more than enough for a toddler and/or preschooler and it is very overwhelming for them as well as you. Also, if he insists on a party with everyone, maybe do potluck of some type or make your husband responsible for some of the planning so he can see how much work it ends up being and hopefully re-think it the next time it comes up.

I agree with almost every suggestion. Do it in a park or at the beach. Have them bring a dish, that way your not incurring all the cost. I would even see if some of their kids have birthdays around the same time maybe they'll want to give them together. You could do a carnival theme. Make the adults responsible for games, prizes, food, etc. Oriental Trading Company has some good deals. Ask around I'm sure your not the only one in the family worried about this same thing.

What you should consider is that by having the big family get together you are helping to cement her with the family and being a part of it. I would not suggest limiting it because it will benefit her later in life. What I do suggest which is what I've done. Parks, Parks and Parks Or beach beach beach. Get the extend family involved. Ask everyone to bring a dish If someoe asks if you need anything specific as them to make you a big salad for everyone Either rent a pavilion or just be the first one to the park bench. 4 years and younger do not need fancy plates and foods. No alchol because its a kids party. BYOB. I usually just buy tons of hot dogs and hamburger meat. Some charcoal. A few gallons of Soda and some boxes of fruit pouches for the kids. . A few heads of lettuce is not expensive and some cherry tomatoes. Oil and Vineger. A radio for music and maybe a few baby games like Pin the Tale. As for goody bags. A pinata is always the best. You get those bags that are ready made with plastic toys ( Just watch your little one with those little toys) If you want to get a few bigger items and have balloon tosses and racing for prices. Actually the kids will love this more than some fancy shin dig at your house.

We have twin girls turning 4 next month too. We have a large family also. It gets a little stressful. With just our families we have a hard time inviting our friends it's just so many people.

Last year we did an egg hunt party at our house. The girls birthday was on Easter. It was a lot of fun.

We have 5 children and have to do parties super cheap. I always get the paper goods and a few decorations at the dollar store. We NEVER do goody bags, except last year I did the stuffed eggs. I got all the egg stuff at the dollar store. Sometimes we do food, but ususally we don't. If we do food, I get the frozen lazagnes and garlic bread from Costco. It's about $30.00 for 4 lazagnes and the garlic bread and a bag salad. I ususally make the cake or cupcakes myself. Cupcakes are easiest. It usually costs about $4 or $5 to make cupcakes with frosting. I don't serve alcohol or soda. Just water and coffee. We have a water filter pitcher so I don't buy water.

I have got it down to around $50.00 per party, and thats if I make food. If I don't make food, I can do it for about $20 or $30. We usually have between 30 to 50 pepople, including kids.

Hope this helps.

EDITED TO ADD: I always take advatage of the few that say "can I bring something" YES you can. I aks this person/people to bring an appitizer like chips and dip or something.

What I find helpful is to plan a theme and have everyone pick something that they can bring within the theme. People love to bring things, I think that it helps to connect them to the party a little more. Also, think about the time you are throwing the party. If you do a 1-3 or 2-4pm usually people don't think that a meal will be provided, light snacks or appetizers at most. You can also put relatives in charge of a game station, i.e., temp tattoos, water balloons, face painting. The adults tend to have more fun when they are engaging one on one with the kids. I say the more the merrier! Life is short. God Bless. Hope maybe some of this was helpful.

I would do both families only invite heones yo know will be upset if there not invited. Also have it in a public place like chuckie cheese or community pool. If you do the at home thing only invite immediate family grandma and granpa and sister and brothers and great grandparents. on both not just one side that way your husband doesn't flip out that you had one side not the other or you had more he had less.

It's been my experience that people tend to think that if a party is in a house, that it is okay for them to bring anyone along and stay for how ever long they like. When my kids were 3 - 5 yrs old, I did a kiddie party from 12-2pm and then give myself time to straight up and get get those partiers on their way. Then I would have family (no lil ones in the family--just mine) from 4-6pm. The afternoon party was lunch (pizza, mac & cheese, or chicken fingers). The next party was dinner (big heroes, macaroni, lasagna). When weather cooperated we did it in the yard and my hubby would BBQ for both. Once my kids were in first grade it was theme kiddie parties only. On Sundays, most of the family ate at grandma's or my MIL's so I bought a cake and paper plates, napkins, and cups (so they wouldn't have to do extra clean up), and viola!!!!! Family party done! Now that they are pre-teens, it's just pick 3-5 friends and go to movies, salon, skating, park, amusement park, bowling, etc.

I know someone in the same boat as you, and she does a small party one year, and the following year a big party so the stress is only every other year. And on top of that, she only does 1 party for all the kids, that will include the entire family. For each birthday she does invite just the immediate family to come, so that they can all celebrate together. Her kids are all february babies, so she does a big party normally in June just after school is out. She does let everyone in the family know, that if they want to bring presents for the children at their birthday time, that's fine. but then they have to arrange that with you, and you wn't have all the added stress.

It's great that they all want to see the kids, but is this the only time they do. if it is, try to encourage the family to come over throughout the year, so they can see the kids more.

would someone on your side of the family consider hosting a small family dinner. That way you can host one with his family and perhaps your parents or family would host a small birthday dinner for your son. Or perhaps there is another birthday coming up on your side of the family and you can combine birthdays?