Where Did Your 1St Born Stay While You Delivered 2Nd Baby?

Updated on July 13, 2009
J.R. asks from Bay City, MI
18 answers

Hey There -

I am due in December and am wondering what is protocol with having your 1st child there - not really at the hospital but in general. I guess I mean since I am having a planned c-section and will be in the hospital 3-4 days (high risk issues). Was your 1st child there for delivery? During the school year did the dad leave for the night and drop off kids in the morning to school then come back to the hospital for you? Did the children stay at grandparents each night? Do I take him out of school for the time I'm in the hospital?? I am so lost on how to handle this hospital stay with my DS being in school.

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S.S.

answers from Lansing on

My 2 children are 12 years apart, so it was a pretty easy decision for us. I also had a c-sec. although it was an emergency. My son was at the hospital with us and when it got gruesome, he was sent out to the waiting room with the grandparents. The first night, he went home with grandma and pa and the next night, my husband just went home with him. He would get him off for school in the morning and then come to the hospital. Piece of cake. Try to relax. Good luck!

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F.W.

answers from Detroit on

I have 3 kids, and when I was in labor/delivery, I wanted my husband there with me and for me. If the other children were there, they would need to be looked after and their needs met, so I had family members trading off times to babysit. And yes, hubby gets to juggle the house and everything that goes with it, including the children, for the days you are in the hospital, and hopefully for the days needed after you come home. Congratulations and don't worry, it will all work out.

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S.D.

answers from Grand Rapids on

When i had my daughter, it ended up being the same weekend, we had my step son. So he stayed with his grandparents. We did tell him what was happening, so he knew. I went in on friday night at 4p, and didn't have my daughter until sunday around 1a. We called the grandparents in the morning. My husband went to get his son in the afternoon, and then the grandparents came up later. my husband went home every night, and slept at home, and then went to work. He came up to the hospital at night. My husband had a very hard time sleeping in the hospital, so I didn't care that he went home and slept. The day I came home he took the morning off, and we ended up having to stay at the hospital until about 8p becuase my daughter had jaundiced really bad.

I would definately start finding someone to watch the kids for you. I know my sister had her in laws watch the kids when she delivered her second. I know for my next one, I will have someone watching my daughter while in the hospital. It will make it a lot easier, so you don't have to keep on eye on another child.

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T.K.

answers from Detroit on

It depend howe well your husband can do your schedule too!! I would have a friend or family take over the older ones schedule or have another classmates Mom take him back and forth to school. I have found that you should try to keep it as all is the same for the older and if you can , have your husband with you at least during the whole day and have him return at night. That what we did when I had to have a C sectiona nd we had 3 at home to care for. We had a sitter stay all day, spend the night(no pay at night) and then my husband could leave whenever he wanted to go back and forth to the hospital. Good luck
T. K.

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D.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

jodi ; you might want to ask the child and father whwere they want to be, im sure day of delivery you may need the father there, our second we had an aunt take care of our first but they both were at hospital day of delivery , and for most part the kids or kid stayed at grandma and pas with extended stays, that way dad and i could take care of stuff, but your child might want to be involved, and might want to be there, he is young and wont remmber much, my 4 year old was there for 2nd one, he was ok with it, but when it comes tostaying night somewehre, it was easier for dad to stay with me, and the child went to grandmas or families, it all works out, its great to plan though, i would ask them ? they might have some input, either way congrats and have a good day , D. s

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G.B.

answers from Detroit on

The easiest way would be to have someone stay at your house and keep his routine as normal as possible, while bringing him to see the baby and celebrating together when baby comes home. My oldest had to go to my mom's then they both came to my house the day aftr I got home. I think it's better if he's there when baby arrives at your house but my mom was in another state and we knew no one where we lived. The other times my MIL stayed at the house and dad visited at the hospital. Back then, children weren't allowed to visit. I took my grandchildren to see the baby when dad called to say birth was imminent. We waited outside the room. Twice I stayed with grandchildren so they could watch the last moments of birth but it was a vaginal delivery. Helping him feel important in the process is best, however you do that.

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L.J.

answers from Detroit on

our daughter was 4 when our 2nd was born, she was at daycare when i went into labor, we dropped her off in the morning on a day she wasn't sheduled and they let her go anyways, then we had friends of ours take her for the night (it was her bestfriends b day party) it actually worked out great, then the other night she stayed with our other friends. good luck

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L.S.

answers from Detroit on

Hi Jody. We always had someone to call when it was "time" and yes, dad took kids to school and then came to see me. You have plenty of time to get everything in order so you are more comfortable. You know ahead of time how long and such so you can prepare. Hope this helps, L.

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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

I would plan for #1 to stay with grandparents for the whole thing, with a visit to you and baby in the hospital. You are having major surgery and need all the rest you can get while in the hospital. Being 6 is old enough to handle a 3-4 day stay with grandma provided there has been an overnight there before. Do some practice stays. No worries!

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S.W.

answers from Lansing on

Hi Jodi,

Congrads on your new baby:) When I had my 2nd, my 1st stayed with my parents, but it was summer time and she wasn't in school. When I had my twins my older 2 stayed with their grandparents but again it was summer time. When I had my 5, the others stayed with their grandparents, but my oldest stayed with her father so he could take her to and from school. Or with my parents so they could take her to and from school. While after the baby was born my husband went home to be with the others, and brought them up to the hospital. I think it just depends on how much help you have. You should let him keep a normal day going and stay in school. Our parents live close by so they were help, so if you have family or friends that could come stay at your house or could keep your son and take him to and from school. Then after school he can come up and see the baby. Good luck on whatever you come up with:)

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T.A.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I have 5 children and all of them were c-section. The "routine" (lol) here was the kids have a sleepover at Grandmas house the night before. My c-sections were always scheduled at 9am which meant that we had to be at the hospital at 7am which meant that I had to get up around 5am, to shower, get readay and we live about 45 min away from the hospital.

I can say from experience that they most likely will not let your son in the operating room, so he will be stuck in a waiting room, personally I think its better to let him follow his normal routine. Let Grandma take him to school the first day, if thats possible.

Secondly once our baby was delivered I always felt it was more important for dad to be at home to maintain the routine for the kids as much as possible, so this is how we would handle the time I was in the hospital.

The kids came home from Grandmas after the first night and stayed home with dad. Dad would get them up for school and get them to school. When he got home rom dropping them off,he would call me (we have a farm so he would get his work done during the day, & watch the kids who werent in school yet) that gave us a chance to talk.

Then after school he would pick everyone up, and take them through the drive thru at McDonalds (which is a huge treat because my kids RARELY get fast food) let them eat in the van as he drove everyone to the hospital to visit mom and new baby. Usually he would stay about an hour, we would get pictures of the whole family together that first day. Then take everyone home, and stay there with them, making sure homework got done, teeth brushed, kids to bed on time, etc.

We would repeat this every day I was in the hospital, until the last day. Usually the Dr would come in the morning and they always released me about 12 or 1 pm. Husband would come up around 11:45 in the morning and then take me and baby home.

Your husband is still going to need to help with the picking up and dropping off routine at school for awhile as you won't be able to drive for a few weeks.

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S.G.

answers from Detroit on

Since your child is in school, I would try to keep his routine as close to the same as possible. Perhaps a grandparent can come visit for a few days? That way your husband would be free to come to the hospital with you as often as he would like.

My children were not at the hospital for the birth of their siblings, but did come and visit either with daddy or grandparents. I always went into labor in the middle of the night, so my kids knew that if grandma was there in the morning, I had the baby. They would then go to stay at their grandparents until we came home from the hospital (they were not in school yet).

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C.L.

answers from Detroit on

Just have someone watch your son (family etc. for the duration of your hospital stay). I wouldn't suggest having him there, he's only 6yrs old (too young to get the "beauty" of birth) or maybe he could be, with a C-section after the baby comes out. Your son is older, maybe he just stays with his dad at night. My kids are 21 months apart, so my son stayed with my husband and came to visit after my daughter was born. He was only 21 months old, so a different story. Unless your husband is staying overnight at the hospital, have him stay with his dad. One thing nice about a c-section is that you can plan. I had to call my dad at 4am to come and watch Erik while I went to the hospital for my daughter. This is the easy part, having two kids is hard. Just go with it (: *C. (business owner, mom to Erik 4yrs old and Betsy 27months)

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D.H.

answers from Detroit on

Jodi ~
First, you need to find out what the hospital allows. The hospital I work at, no kids under 16 are allowed in the labor room during labor or delivery. Overnight visitors must be over 18. And we have open visitation during visiting hours after delivery. Every hospital is a little different. I don't know anyplace where they allow your other child to spend the night. Most of our patients have their older children still go to school, and then either go to a grandparent's or friend's house afterward. Some have Dad go home for the night, others have the child stay with grandparents (or friend, but not so much for overnight).

Good luck!
D.

T.M.

answers from Lansing on

At that time my oldest was 2 1/2 years and he was in the labor/delivery room and then at the hospital for the two days I was there, but then at night he went home with dad. He wasn't in school yet, so that wasn't an issue for us.

Good luck!

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N.O.

answers from Detroit on

I just recently had my second child in march. I didn't have a c-section so I wasn't in the hospital for too long. Basically my water broke at my house. We called my inlaws and they came over and stayed with my son. I didn't want him at the hospital for too many reasons to list but within hours after I delivered I called him myself and told him his baby brother was "out of moms tummy" and my inlaws brought him right over and stayed for hours. They took him home and he slept about 2 nights there. Hubby kind of went bath and fourth. It was kind of crazy but you make it work.

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N.W.

answers from Detroit on

I also had a schedule c-section with my second. I was in the hospital for 2 days not 4 though.

My parents came. My son went to school (c-section was at 1pm) and then my parents picked him up, took him to dinner, and then to the hospital to see me. They took him to school the next day, and then back to see me. I had the baby on a Thurs and then was home Sat am. My parents stayed for 2 more weeks. Brendan continued to go to school one day a week (he was almost 4 at the time).

If possible...have someone come to your house to stay with him.

Good luck!

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A.I.

answers from Lansing on

hey jodi
when my thired was born my older two stayed night at home with dad and durning the day went to school and spent time with a friend came up to hospital for a vist but left after a hour or two i am now a mother of five girls with a nother on due late jan early feb hope i halped

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