Would Height Ever Play into Your Decision of Keeping Your Child Back in School?

my kid is as tall as a 3 grader, and she hasn't even made it to K yet. I don't think it wouldn't change my mind one bit, even if she was normal height. I get a lot of mis-understood comments on my 5 year old behavior because people think she is more 7 or 8. Occasionally I had problems when they were younger getting them into KIDS UNDER 2 or and things like that, cause people never believed M. that she was that age.

Lord NO! The kids in my son's 3rd grade class vary by 10-12"! As do people of the same age in the real world.

Absolutely not. Height would never play into any consideration in regards to keeping my child back.

Height would not be a factor, but neither would shyness or sensitivity. Those are personality traits, not signs of maturity or an ability to learn.

My daughter looks like a kindergartener. (Either the other parents grow em big in my school, or we're growing a little one.) Anyway, she's going into fourth grade. I would never consider holding her back because she's short. I'm not very tall at all. In fact, all my friends are over 5'9 and I'm barely 5'3. She needs to learn to live in a world where she's shorter than others.

So to summarize, no height wouldn't be a factor.

not as the sole reason. It's always a combination of factors that determine whether a child should be held back or not--academic, social, student's own thoughts, etc... i'm not a big fan of holding students back, but in some cases it has to be done. int this case, without any of the other info, I'd say no. www.educationmom.com

It might be a small factor, honestly, but I doubt height would be a decision maker for M. in the end. With a girl, I would be more seriously concerned about the effects of her hitting puberty before the rest of her peers -- down the road.

What I do want to say, for whatever it's worth, is that sensitive kids can often react badly to being held back. Shy, sensitive kids tend to internalize everything, especially negatives, and kids can often feel very bad about being made to repeat a year. If a kid is really struggling academically, or is having serious behavioral problems, another year of kindergarten can be J. what the doctor ordered. But shyness and sensitivity -- those are J. personality traits -- they usually come with more good than bad -- and I'm not sure another year in K would change them.

You know your daughter best, though, and I'm sure whatever you decide will be what's right for her in the end.

I would not hold my child back academically for shyness or height.

I simply would not allow my child to be flunked in kindergarten, not even if the school wanted to do so. Kids grow mentally between 5 and 8 by leaps and bounds and they mature years in behavior. J. because she is shy does not mean she needs to be held back. If she is still a shy little girl at the end of next years kindergarten will you hod her back again?

Of course not. That was said to J. make a point.

If she is not smart enough to do the work her teachers would have had you in to address the issues before the end of the school year. So this means she is smart enough to move to 1st grade.

Let her move up with her friends, she will hurt and hurt if she is held back and it may even set her development back further because she will internalize she is stupid.

Moms and dads love their kids and are supposed to tell them they are smart so when you tell her that she is smart and bright and all the reasons she is not stupid she will not believe you but truly believe she is not smart enough to move up with her friends.

One of my good FB friends was an acquaintance in high school We sang in community choir and stuff, almost always stood side by side. He was shorter than M. and I was about 5'. After high school graduation he shot up, he was in college when it happened, and he is now about 5'11". His wife is taller than M. and he almost towers over her. He was short, smaller that J. about every other person at my school. There was only one other person shorter and she was a freshman girl. He did J. fine and was a very popular person.

Hate to say it but yes. It wouldn't be the overriding factor though. But we're tall so I did consider it when I started my daughter in K. She's on the young side but if she was short, I might have held her back a year as many people do. (Late Sept bday). But she seemed fine to go on to K and I figured I didn't want to make her even taller than the average kids in her class. If there was a real problem, I'd have held her back. Doesn't sound like Emmy has a real problem... And what's interesting is you were 6' in 9th grade and I guess it didn't bother you. Part of my decision factor is always having hated being tall until I was in my 30's. Hopefully my daughters won't feel like that!

No.
My daughter is the tallest girl in her class there are two boys that are a little taller then she is. She is also a little taller than a few kids in the first grade. I wouldn't expect them to keep the shorter kids back because they aren't as tall. That is J. a silly thought.

Should an adult not get promoted at work because they are not as tall as their co-workers?

As a woman who almost hits 5' tall, no, height wouldn't factor into any of my child's schooling decisions.:)

If you are discussing putting your child through K again, talk to the teacher. If your daughter is bright and can do the work, being held back due to her challenges in socializing may only feel like a no-confidence vote from the adults.Perhaps this mother was throwing out the height issue because it's a more neutral topic?

As a mom of a kid who also relates better to younger children than older ones, I would not use this reason to hold my child back. Better he learn to eventually become comfortable with older people and peers than for M. to try to make every social situation easier for him. I do understand your concerns, though, so talk to the teacher and school counselor if this is feeling like a big issue for you. They may have some ideas and summer activities which can help bolster her confidence around the other kids. Good luck!

So funny you ask becuase my son who's on the younger end of his grade, but has always been the tallest kid in his grade, has some learning disabilities (not severe, but realted to reading & writing). I had considered starting him a year later in kindergarten but he was already tall and I didn't want him to look like the freakishly giantic kid in the younger group. Think about every kid's movie or cartoon - the bully is always the kid thats way bigger than the other kids and has been held back a year. Now my son is a gentle giant for the most part. He's got a good heart and is generally a respectful kid. But I didn't want him to appear to be the baby-huey of his grade so I did not hold him back.

A FYI, I've come across teachers who expected more of him because "he's a big kid". WHAT? He's actually younger than 80% of the kids in his grade although a head taller. My sister found the same thing with her son who was always a head taller (is now 6'5"). I truly believe that there's some physical phenomena where taller kids deleope intellectually a bit later than smalled kids. My theory is that the energy used to grow taller is not available for brain development. I'e also noticed that often tall kids are less coordinated - and I think that's becuase they never get used to where their arms and legs end. My son is almost 13 (in the late Summer) and he's grown 4 inches since Christmas. He's 5'10" (he always been around 103% on the growth charts) and during htis latest growth spurt his school work has suffered and he's always exhausted. I don't think it's a coincidence.

Anyway - good luck in making this decision. There's so much to consider with our kids - intellectual, physical, social & spritual development are all so connected...!

No, height would not be a factor. A kid that is particularly tall or short is still going to be that way for the next few years. Not until ages 10-16 will it really start to even out.

Height would not help M. make the decision. I would look at where my child is intellectually. Talk to the teacher and see what she thinks. If she is in the advanced section of the class, then holding her back wouldn't make sense. She might get bored next year and when kids get bored, they can cause problems.

Your daughter is academically on par and better per that other Mom's comment to you.

Your hesitation is: that your child is "shy" and sensitive and the youngest and she is tall for her age.

Per my personal observations with my own kids... Who are late born, and tall, and shy/sensitive and were academically on par.
My kids, started Kinder at 4 years old and then turned 5. MOST young children, are shy or sensitive... and are in the process of, getting used to being around many other kids, both older and younger, in a group setting. That is what Kindergarten is. Along with other social and academic learning.
Both my kids and given their late born status and being shy/sensitive... BOTH did great in Kindergarten. My son J. finished Kindergarten and will be going to 1st grade in the Fall. My daughter, also went on to 1st grade after Kindergarten and did fine.
You will see... that a child progresses and matures... in many facets as they grow up. Again, both my kids are late born, and were among the youngest in their class. But that was not even a factor in how they did in school or Kindergarten. They adjusted very well. And blossomed as their time in school went on. They never had problems. And in Kindergarten or among young children, many are J. sensitive and shier because it is a normal developmental thing.

Unless your child, has "problems" and behavioral or emotional problems and which the Teacher also notices... I really don't see why she would be held back. And if she repeats Kindergarten... how will her academic growth, be addressed? She may get bored, because she already knows those things. She will not be learning 1st grade academics in Kindergarten. She will be learning Kindergarten academics, again.

Height to M., is really not a big deal.
Both my kids are tall for their ages, but they are late born. No biggie.

The issue here is: do you really think your daughter needs to be held back? Is she suffering in Kindergarten or is she immature or lacks ability to be in a classroom? She cannot go throughout school, being among younger kids. There will always be... older kids than her. Or do you want her to be the "oldest" in her class? And no matter what age or grade, there will ALWAYS be, "sensitive" kids. This is not something that will J. disappear or go away, J. because they repeat Kindergarten. But a child will mature and grow up. Even in my daughter's 4th grade class, there are sensitive kids. No biggie. They are not at a loss. They have friends. They do fine in school. There are also many sensitive Adults. That does not mean they stay in Kindergarten forever.
And there will ALWAYS be kids in class, that are older than her, or younger. Always. But a child adjusts.

And, in most schools, Kindergarten is for 5 year olds. Or those turning 6.
BUT if your child is already 6 and then repeats Kindergarten, then she will be 1st grade age.
At my kids' school, if a child enters elementary school at 6 years old, they are put into 1st grade. Unless the parent requests that their child be in Kindergarten.
You did not say how old your daughter is currently. But I assume she is 5.

AND... did your daughter's Teacher actually tell you or recommend that your daughter be held back????

I personally do not see a reason to hold your child back.
Again, your daughter is academically above par.
She is J. late born and shy/sensitive as you say. But many kids are that way. But as life goes on and they grow-up, a child learns coping skills and socialization skills. Of which the parent also guides them on. And the child matures.

My son will be 6 in July, and he will be starting kindergarten in the fall. He is very short (the poor thing), but that was not why we made the decision to wait a year. It's actually a bit of a "bonus," though. I hope the extra year helps so that if he is the shortest in the class, maybe he won't stick out so much like he does now.

He needed that extra year to mature. He seems to be doing great, academically, but I could always tell at preschool that the other kids were J. more mature than him. I wanted him to be ready for kindergarten and not feel like he was always trying to play catch-up.

I don't think I would have waited to send him based solely on height, but I do like the fact that he might be closer to average. I also think height is tougher on boys than on girls.

if i kept my SS back based on height i am not quite sure he would even make it in preschool again...hes short, like so short at 6yr people mistake him for 3yr old. some people even try to carry him around...IMO, it holds him back from being who he is and maturing at all...dont let height or lack thereof hold anyone back from anything. he doesnt notice the difference anyways....he can ride without training wheels and his bestie who is alot taller cant even do that, so hes J. fine....its in his genes to be shorter anyways...neither parent is over 5'4.

I don't think height should be a factor in keeping a kid back. My kid is the smallest in his class and I've taught him how much height is not issue. We're both short so I know he'll be a small kid always. I think a parent should decide based on what their kids needs are, height not being one of them.

Girls are usually taller than boys at this age anyway. Then the boys overtake the girls. If she is the youngest in her class, THAT'S what I would be thinking about.

For a BOY, I'd consider height along with age. Little "shrimps" get picked on.

Dawn

No way! I am petite (5'2") and so are my kids. Both of my sons are the smallest in their class. My father was only 5'8", so they could J. have my genes. Or, they could develop late. My husband was 4'9" when he started high school and graduated at 6'.

there is a boy in my son's school. a twin. he is significantly taller, larger then other kids his age including his twin. he started K on time for his birthday. When he started K he was the size of a 4th grader. They had to bring in a desk and chair from 4-5th grade for him to use because he was too tall to sit at the K tables. He is currently in 4th.

Well, my K teacher wanted to move M. up to 1st grade the second week of school (back then, seems like all we did in K was play house, finger paint, and learn our ABC's) and my mom WOULDN'T let them, because I was one of the smallest children in my class, even though I was one of the oldest (fall birthday). I thought then, and still do, that that was unfair.

Ha ha! No! I was always one of the youngest in my class and I remember in like 6th and 7th grade I towered over everyone! Most caught up soon though!

My son was both tallest and youngest (by a whole year, everyone else was 6&7 while he was 5). Kids do often sort themselves by height (playground the 3rd -4th graders sought him out), because the associate taller w older... But no. I would not have taken height into his placement in school. Like you, I was 6' tall in middle school. Height, for M., us a nonissue.

BUT while I think most parents would agree that the height of OUR kids is a nonstarter, my sons height has been an issue with OTHER parents from the time he was about 9 months old to this year at age 9!!!

I thought you meant shortness and was going to say if that was the case poor Genna would J. be starting kindergarten. :p Poor midget.

Okay this is going to sound strange but it is true that people judge the taller kids by their height. In Tommy and Christine's classes there were at least six kids that were held back. In Tommy's class there was a girl who was held back enough that she was driving her 8th grade year. She was short, everyone thought she was smart even though she was average. Another girl was tall and even though she was only held back a year everyone thought she was stupid, even though she was average as well.

I have no idea why this happens but it does. Same thing happened in Christine's class as well.

Hun, 6 ft is tall for a woman! :p So pretty much Emmy is probably taller than Genna now. :) Poor midget.