Would You Let Your Child to Go to South Korea?

Updated on April 05, 2013
G.B. asks from Los Angeles, CA
35 answers

Hi – my teen son was accepted by the student exchange program to go to South Korea in June. Incheon, the city the group is going to is very close to the border with North Korea. It looks like the tension keeps escalating between the North and South Korea and US. It doesn’t feel safe to me anymore to send my kid on this trip. What are your thoughts on this? Thanks All!!!

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Negative Ghost Rider; Abort Mission.

At this time there is NO WAY my child would go ANYWHERE with out me.

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

Yes, I would totally send my American child unprotected to go to school near the border of a very hostile nation not at all hiding their violent intentions and anti-US sentiments.

NOT.

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M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

I would see how it pans out. June is still a few months away, and N. Korea is generally a nuisance at best. It seems likely that if the coordinator of the trip will make a judgement call at that time. I doubt they would send anyone into an unsafe situation.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Heck no. I'm Korean-American and I have relatives in South Korea right now that I worry about!

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X.O.

answers from Chicago on

Sorry to your son, but no, I wouldn't. I don't think that NK could attack the US mainland, but I do know they are capable of attacking SK or Japan. Not a good time to go.

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E.E.

answers from Denver on

Yes, I would. Sounds like the chance of a lifetime.

One of my sons is from S. Korea. My husband has been to Seoul. We have friends from S. Korea who visit family there - and take their kids. And as part of the community that has adopted from S. Korea, we are *always* acquainted with someone who is traveling to or from S. Korea, often with bio and/or previously adopted kids in tow. I'd take all 3 sons tomorrow to meet son 2's foster family, if we could swing it.

S. Korea is not a third world country. And not only does it have a fine defense system of it's own, S. Korea is a CLOSE ally of the USA. I sincerely doubt that N. Korea *really* wants to incur that wrath. The posturing that is going on now between N. and S. Korea is very much akin to what used to go on between the Soviet Union and the US. So, in my opinion, avoiding S. Korea now would be like avoiding the USA in the 1980s.

What does your son want to do?

ETA: I am clearly in the minority here, but even with my "gut" saying no, I'd consider my son's opinion in such a circumstance. My tendency is to be over-protective, but I don't want my sons' lives to ruled by the parameters of my fear. It's definitely a tough balancing act.

My mother *always* "went with her gut" as far as my safety was concerned when I was a teen, and I think if I hadn't walked out on her at age 16, she'd have found a giant mason jar, put me in it, and punched hole in the lid. If your son is feeling uneasy, definitely support him, but if it's you against him, well, my Mom's determination to "keep me safe" caused her to lose me in a different way. I was a REALLY good kid too, but I couldn't live within the parameters of her fears anymore. It's been over 30 years now, I have children of my own, and I still think I did the right thing leaving that situation at age 16.

You've gotten some good advice here on weighing the situation.
Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

No.
And I wouldn't try and be a superhero about it.
This is your child, who has probably never traveled to a foreign country?
And if anything happens, per Korea, you will not forgive yourself.

Check the government websites etc.
http://seoul.usembassy.gov/acs_american_citizen_services....

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

My daughter lives over there... she has been there 5 years now, teaching in a private school.

Yes, I understand your concern..... North Korea's new leader is pretty much an unknown...... will he try to do something stupid? We hope not.....

Just keep in contact with the student exchange program.... it may very well be that they cancel/postpone the trip due to heightened security problems.

Several years ago, when SARS first came out, my oldest daughter (not the one that lives in Seoul) was supposed to go on a collegiate exchange trip to Taiwan..... due to the increased health risk, they postponed it for a year. She went the next year, instead... and it was an even better program the next year... 10 weeks instead of just 6 weeks of working in a lab in Taipei.

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

Well I'm in the minority too, with Elyse.

I'd consider my child's age (is he close to 18?), his thoughts on the matter, his maturity level, and what the State Department says.

In other words I would not out-and-out say "no."

Then again I just got back from Europe (this past fall) and I treasure the chance for American teens to travel overseas. It changed my teens forever. That being said western Europe is not Korea.

Good luck with the decision.

ETA: For a point of reference Walt Disney drove ambulances in France during WWI, when he was 15-16 years old. Of course we should not go to that degree with our children; however, we tend to infantilize our teens today. I'm not saying to throw him into a dangerous situation - just that there are multiple factors to consider.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

No way would I let my child go.

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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

Right now, no way! Who knows where all these threats will lead? I just heard the creep (or whoever is calling the shots) moved missiles into place along the border.

I would assume the trip itself will be cancelled if things continue along this vein. I wish the original creep was still alive and in charge. He was bad but there is something even more scary about this kid. It's a sad day when you wish crazy Kim Jong IL was still calling the shots.

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

While North Korea periodically does this, and it's probably just posturing from the new dictator, I would say "no" on the trip right now. I can't imagine how I would feel, knowing my child was over there!

I'm sure there will be other opportunities in his life to visit.

North Korea is VERY anti-American. I wouldn't want to be an American anywhere near NK right now!

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Cancel it.
He can live with the disappointment - the operative word being 'live'.
It's infinitely better than becoming a statistic on some Missing Civilians State Department report.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

NOPE, I would not send my child over there.

I would be surprised if the program he is in will follow through due to all the tension over there right now. There would be a lawsuit waiting to happen to the exchange program as soon as someone's child got hurt or worse.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

No way. Is there another place he could go? I wouldn't want to deny him an international experience entirely. If he could get into another program, I would do that.

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K.C.

answers from Washington DC on

How soon do you have to commit? Is there a chance that if he declines and the program changes the location because of the current threats, he wouldn't be allowed to go to the new location? Can he request a change of venue for the time abroad because of the known safety concerns?

If you have to commit now and a change of venue is not possible, I don't think it's safe to let him go. The Department of Defense is taking these threats seriously (as is their job), and while I agree that North Korea likely can't get a missile to the US mainland, South Korea and Japan are a COMPLETELY different ball of wax.

I would think a reputable program would already be looking for alternatives for those kids headed to South Korea.

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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

The last time things escalated in South Korea, I was living in Japan. My school canceled our spring break trip to South Korea, to my disappointment. Nothing came of the tension, in the end, but the school concluded it wasn't worth the risk. I thought it was a huge over-reaction, since NK does this occasionally. I was really disappointed to miss out, and looking back, I missed out for nothing. It never crossed my mind not to travel to Japan, though.

Now, I'm a mom. I see things a little bit differently than I did as a college student. I think probably nothing will come of it - I think Kim Jung Un is blustering, trying to get the world to take him seriously (since, let's admit it, we don't). But I also think he's insane, and I don't now what that combination will mean. I would talk to the directors of the program. What is their assessment of the situation? What is their plan if things suddenly go bad? What steps are they taking to protect your son? Talk to the state department, too. Also, find out at what point you can back out of this program.

Having said all that - the answer to my question is no. I wouldn't send my child right now. I would take my kids to Japan, still, but I'd be worried about living near the Korean border. The simple reason is a matter of regrets - if he doesn't go this year, he might be able to go next year. But if he goes and something happened, I would not be able to live with myself. That's how I see a lot of choices with my kids, though. It's not like he's going for a year, or even a semester. A month in a foreign country is a fun cultural experience, but not earth-shattering. Go with your gut.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

No way in the world would I allow my kids to go.

My mom is a college professor and they were going to go to Vietnam next month. They cancelled that trip because not enough people signed uo due to tensions all over the world right now.

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J.H.

answers from Billings on

Years ago, I spent several months teaching English in S. Korea. It is an amazing place, and would be a wonderful experience for your son to visit. However, the way things are with N. Korea right now, it might be better to put the trip off if you can.

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M.S.

answers from Seattle on

I'd say no, and I would bet the trip will be cancelled.

Also you might want to check the State Department (www.state.gov.) website periodically because they regularly post travel advisories for Americans. It's possible they have already or will soon post an advisory for travel to South Korea.

Use your own best judgment and ask the leaders of the group your son will be travelling with.

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L.N.

answers from New York on

i would. you have to remember, whatever gets reported here is heightened so much more than what it gets reported in s. korea and elsewhere. n. korea has always been a threat to s. korea, america, and the rest of the world. s. korea is safe for americans and the rest of the world. if the trip doesn't get cancelled i would allow my child to do.

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L.M.

answers from Chicago on

These are the things I would consider:

His age

Would he assimilate well? Does he speak the language, does he have any of the look of a native Korean citizen? Or will he stick out - will it be obvious an American is walking down the street? With the hightened tensions, him being singled out would worry me, even in a country of allies, but if he can blend in well, then that's something to consider.

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

I imagine that your son is very excited about the trip, but it simply isn't safe to be anywhere near the DPRK.

Here's some info: http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/cis/cis_1018.html

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Absolutely NOT at this time!

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

depends upon my son's age. Teenager - 15 through 17 - yes. Younger? No.

I will not live my life in fear. Do I believe that North Korea is going to do something? Yes. Do I believe it will be against South Korea first? No. I believe the Kim will want to mess with the U.S. first.

I would ask questions about emergency procedures. How they handle security, etc.

Good luck!

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P.K.

answers from New York on

No way. Bad timing. Bet the trip is cancelled.

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R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Trust your instincts, G., no, not at this time.

Usually in these situations they urge Americans to leave the area, not go to it. A friend's son is in the State Dept, he has had to send his family back to the US a few times from an area they're in before he himself had to leave. They have a feel for the situation long before we ever hear anything, my guess is US diplomats are not sending their families to South Korea right now as Americans are frequently targets when our country is involved in disagreements.

Trust your instincts!

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S.Z.

answers from Reno on

Will it be for a few weeks, or for a year? (I know of both types of programs.) In fact, my son's 18 year old friend is most of the way through a year-long Korean exchange program, and he's had no problems.

If it's a few weeks, I wouldn't worry. If it's year long, I'd ask lots of questions about what procedures they have in place for emergencies. If you're comfortable with the answers, don't let other people guilt you by saying, "I can't believe you'd even consider that!" If you're not comfortable with their oversight, safety precautions and emergency procedures, sit down with your son and explain that, unless those concerns can be addressed, you may reconsider.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I guess it depends. How old is your teen son? 13? 18? You don't say.
Have you spoken to the group leaders to find out what safety/security measures are being taken? Are they likely at any time to actually be in harms way? What circumstances will warrant cancelling the trip - prior to or during? Do the answers to any of these questions make you feel better?
My oldest is quite the traveler. England at age 16, Hungary at age 17 and then Uganda at age 19! There is a lot of unrest in Uganda as well and I was pretty nervous. But I was assured that where she was going was safe, and the much would be done to protect them or they would leave immediately. Now, at 21, she's going to Asia for the summer working to build relationships that communicate God's love - we're talking a place that persecutes Christians!!! You bet I'm nervous!
My point is that if you feel your child can handle themselves in these situations, and that the people overseeing this program have security measures in check, then you just have to hand it over to God and have faith that He will keep your child safe.
God Bless both of you!

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K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think I would be saying no at this point in time, better safe than sorry.

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

No, I wouldn't, especially with the most recent news of the morning. I would be surprised if the program isn't cancelled or changed. One thing I'm not sure I've seen addressed here is what about radiation fall out from North Korea's testing, etc.? I'm no scientist, far from it, but I would be concerned about what is going on over there and their irresponsibility and incompetence regardless of whether they actually attack or hit something.

FYI, I think international travel and experience is great for kids so I might try to find another program or location. I spent a semester in Denmark when I was in college, my family hosted several foreign exchange students when I was in high school, and my high school son is going to Spain next year with his Spanish teachers. I did travel to the then-Soviet Union during a somewhat scary time in 1983, contrary to my parents' wishes, and all worked out fine, but this seems to be more of an international threat than that was. Or maybe it's just the wisdom of age and my changed perspective as a now-parent? Good luck.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I've cancelled 2 trips to Israel with my son because things were getting dicey.

It was pretty easy to switch destinations. Israel/UK Israel/EU.

The whole "And noooooow we're doing something completely different!"

Other times, Im fine.

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J.C.

answers from Charlottesville on

NO. The risks outweigh the benefits. Can he go to a different country?

E.D.

answers from Seattle on

I think I would agree to it. When I was 17 I spent several months overseas. The region I stayed in was unstable. My folks were worried, but allowed me to go anyway. It was an incredibly valuable experience.

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Heck no! Too close for comfort. I would pick another country that is more happy with the US.

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