Sleeping on Floor

Updated on October 14, 2009
K.M. asks from Newburgh, NY
18 answers

Hi Moms! We wake up almost every day to our 4 year old on the floor next to our bed. He comes in sometime during the night (with pillow) and sleeps on the floor. If I do catch him and try to send him back to bed he starts to cry and says he's scared. We bought 2 new bright nightlights and that helped for a few nights. Last night we locked our door to see if he'd go back to bed if he couldn't get in, but he just called out until I opened the door. Any suggestions??

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T.R.

answers from St. Louis on

My first child used to do that too. As long as he doesn't wake you up I'd let it be. How about buying him a cutsie flashlight? Let him keep it in his bed. Let HIM pick it out. Tell him he can use it and keep it in his room ONLY. I'd not get worked up about it, eventually he'll stop.

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B.C.

answers from Joplin on

He isn't waking you up = ) I would let it go, the less you make a fuss about it the sooner he will outgrow it. My mom let us sleep on the floor next to her bed when we had bad dreams, she was really cranky if we woke her up = )
Lots of luck
B.

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J.K.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi K.. I agree with the mom that said to ENCOURAGE him to sleep in his own bed, but let him know it is okay to come to your room if he is scared. He's still so young and he may be scared of the dark. I'm 30 and I am STILL afraid of the dark! I slept on my parents floor a lot when I was younger. If they'd have made me sleep in my own bed I don't know how much sleep I would have gotten--that is how scared I was! I think you should ask him what he is afraid of in his room and try to fix it. Also I liked the sticker chart idea with the reward after so many stickers from staying in his own room. That's bound to work. If he still winds up in your room and forfeits a sticker for the night then I'd take that as a sign that he is legitimately scared. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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D.R.

answers from Kansas City on

My oldest used to sleep on the floor next to our bed for a couple years. She finally decided to sleep in her own bed about a year ago. My youngest will get up and sleep on the floor next to our bed about 4 nights a week. She is in her bed when I go to sleep, but moves sometime in the middle of the night. It beats getting woke up or climbing into bed and the parents nor the child getting enough sleep at night. I put down a pillow on the floor next to my bed when I go to sleep and she ends up coming in with a blanket, laying down and goes back to sleep. You can try talking to him to see why he wants to sleep on your floor. My oldest thought there was monsters, and we got her a monster spray that she sprayed where the monsters were. She has a lamp on all night, and we have ended up turning the TV on really low for light too and that has helped keep my middle child in bed.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Kansas City on

First, congratulations for teaching your child that if he comes into your bedroom during the night, he is to come in quietly and sleep on the floor! That is the best advice I ever received from my older siblings. I have two children, ages 12 and 9, and they both did what your son is doing. As long as my husband and I had our intimacy when we wanted, we were okay with them coming into our room during the night, with the above provisions. Sometimes we would think "aren't they a little too old to be doing this!" But it really comes down to personal preference. Rest assured, your children will eventually outgrow wanting to come into your bedroom. You might just want to enjoy it while it lasts.

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S.D.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi K.,
I wouldn't let it go...but I wouldn't make a big deal out of it either. Getting up every night could turn into a bad habit. I'd do some of the things like others have suggested...small reward for staying in his bed, talking to him about his fears or whatever the reason is for him getting out of bed.

Good Luck!!

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K.K.

answers from St. Louis on

We had the same issue with our daughter when she was that age. i beleive its just a stage that some kids go through :) She gradually grew out of it, but she too would cry and I felt horrible puting her back in her room when she was scared :( I think they gradually figure it out that it is much more comfortable in their own bed :) Until then enjoy it! She is fourteen now and wants nothing to do with sleeping anywhere near us!! :) :) Good luck!!!!

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C.S.

answers from Kansas City on

I can't help you with your issue... but I can say count your blessings!!!

My son (4 last June) has been doing this since spring, except he climbs into my husband and my queen sized bed and tries to squeeze himself in between us. We are both large people, so not a lot of room there. It's miserable and makes for a very long night!!

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V.Y.

answers from Wichita on

Have you asked him what scares him? I know that sounds stupid to ask you that; but sometimes it is something else. Like he might be afraid that you are gone, or something has happened to you. Try to ask more detailed questions.

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T.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Just be consistant and continue to put him back into his bed if you wake up. The time that you give in - it will take that much longer to fix it (again). He's probably not really scared just knows that it can help w/ him staying in your room. I have a 6 yr old that still tries that every once in a while. You can also add a routine into his bedtime that scares away anything that can possible scare him. Good luck.

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B.S.

answers from Springfield on

I'm with all the others - count your blessing that he doesn't wake you up or want to sleep in your bed. When one of mine was that age his ped said to let him sleep next to the bed for a time until he outgrew the fear. Unfortunately, he was allergic to dust so he ended up sleeping with us for what seemed like years...

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J.C.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter is 7 and just started staying in her own bed about 1.5 yrs ago. She started with coming in and laying on the floor (not waking us) when she was about 2.5 but gradually progressed to needing a drink of water and needing to sleep in our bed (which DID wake us).

I agree with the other moms, that I wouldn't worry about it too much, since he's not waking you. BUT you might want to start an incentive to gently encourage him to stay in his bed, like a sticker chart. Maybe when he gets 5 stickers on his chart, he gets to buy something at the dollar store. And ask him for ideas about what might help him stay in his bed. Sometimes kids have great ideas that really work-- and he might suggest something that you think is totally random, but makes him feel better (like moving a toy to the opposite side of the room).

Based on my experience, I would really try to encourage him to stay in his bed so that he knows it's OK to come into your room, but it's BETTER to stay in his. Good luck and good sleeping!!

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K.B.

answers from Wichita on

Good Morning K.. First ask him what is frightening him, noises, creaks cars going by etc.. If he is afraid of like monsters in the closet make a spray bottle of monster vanisher. Water a little something that smells good and have Dad our Super HERO spray his room at night.

You could play some white noise on a CD player, soft classical music for kids..random replays.

Or Super Nanny, Take him back when you see him, tell him he needs to sleep in his bed, say good night, if he is up again put him back without a word. Worked for our 2 yr old grand son.

God Bless you K. hope you can find the perfect solution for you and your family
K. Nana of 5
If it's not a big deal then don't sweat it, there could be worse things.

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S.C.

answers from St. Louis on

HI!
I know this is coming late, but when my son was around 4 yrs old we went through the same thing. Sometimes he'd wake us and sometimes he wouldn't. We tried many things(nightlight, music, rewards, etc) and he would always just say that he wanted to be with us. So we made a deal with him...we told him that if he stayed in his room all night throughout the week, then on Friday nights he could sleep in our room. It worked...so well that over 4 yrs later he is still sleeping in our room on Friday nights! But it is a special thing for him every week and now our (almost) 4 yr old daughter joins him. We try to have family night on Friday nights and they get so excited to sleep in their sleeping bags in our floor. If it happens that we wish to change the night, we do...sometimes they sleep in there on Saturdays instead, or if it's a holiday. My son has anxiety issues similar to what I had as a child and he gets so excited over holidays that he can't sleep and actually gets sick. So I let him sleep in our room sometimes b/c he does fall asleep faster in our room.
Hope this helps.
Also....my daughter comes in some nights when she is scared, and I keep an extra blanket & pillow under my bed and as long as she goes right back to sleep, I've learned to just let her sleep there on the floor by the bed, and she knows to get the pillow from under my bed. Usually she is scared from a bad dream and I'm too tired to put her back in her bed, so I just tell her to lay down by Mama, and she's out in no time.

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V.L.

answers from Kansas City on

First, you should consider yourself lucky. When my kids are scared, they come in yelling and wake everyone up. Or, they yell until I go in there. If he's coming in and making himself at home at the foot or side of your bed, he's being very courteous, and you should appreciate that. Not many kids will.

As long as he's not seeing anything inappropriate, and I assume you do that with a locked door, then I don't see anything wrong with that. He's scared and gets comfort by being near you. If it's not bothering you or waking anyone, I see no harm in letting him do it. He will outgrow it, and as the floor isn't too comfortable, it probably won't last too long.

You might try talking to him about what bothers him and see if it's an easy fix. My kids all need night lights. Two need closed doors and one needs hers open. All kids are different.

I wouldn't worry too much about it.

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S.T.

answers from Kansas City on

hehe we are going through this with our almost 3 year old. I don't mind it anymore I just worry she's going to be to cold. I'll be sure to watch the other post for ideas also.

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

K. i would count my blessings. #1, he isn't bothering you when he comes in, you don't have to get out of bed and go to him, you don't even have to wake up, sounds like. #2, he isn't bothering little brother either, hollering and screaming at 2 am. it could be much worse! maybe he truly is just scared. it sounds like he's being very sweet and considerate, not to wake you and daddy up. what a good boy! i woudn't try to force him back to his own room or lock him out, that sounds like a good way to increase his insecurity and fears. if it was me, and this is only my opinion, i would let it be, but talk about how excited you'll be on the nights he's a big, brave enough boy to sleep in his room again. maybe talk about (and follow through with) a nice mom and son date at mcdonald's when he starts sleeping in his own room again.

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L.B.

answers from St. Joseph on

Frankly, I don't see anything wrong with it...beats them having you get out of bed...mine always wants me to come sleep with him or get into my bed. I think this is age where the night terrors are prevalent...mine started around 4 and he's 6 now and will still occasionally get them...night lights haven't helped but I let them sleep with as many lights on as they want. I'll certainly keep checking back to see what other moms say, but so far 1-2-3 Magic, Common Sense Parenting and Love & Logic have all failed me on this one.

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